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  • Writer's pictureNicole Raheja

20 Days, 20 Quizzes, Day 10: How Do You Handle Conflict?

Video transcript:

20 Days, 20 Quizzes, Day 10: How Do You Handle Conflict?

Hi Everyone! This is Day 10 of my video series, 20 Days, 20 Quizzes, where I count down the 20 reasons why my book, All About You: A Personality Quiz Book will make a great gift for your loved ones this holiday season! This book is aimed at preteens and teenagers, but adults can also enjoy it. Click on the link in the description below to purchase!

The tenth quiz in this book asks how you handle conflict. There are lots of different ways of handling conflict, and this quiz focuses on four. You can be a problem-solver, you can be someone who’s laid back and not really bothered by the problem, you can be someone who looks for something positive in the situation, or you can be someone who needs emotional support. All of these choices are equally valid, and you’ll get advice on how to do what works best for you.

If you come out to be a problem-solver, you want to find solutions when conflicts arise. If your outdoor event gets cancelled because of the weather, look for another day to reschedule. If your favorite school activity is cut, look for a way to get involved outside of school, or work to get the activity back in your school. And if you’re facing a tough conflict that doesn’t have a clear solution, try breaking it down into all the specific issues that are bothering you, and work on finding solutions for each of them. If you’re upset about a big issue in the world, look for ways that you can get involved, such as volunteering or raising money for a cause you care about. Even if the problem doesn’t get fully resolved, you might feel better just knowing that you’re contributing to the solution.

If you come out to be more laid-back, you’re someone who’s flexible and not as invested in things going exactly as you had planned. I don’t give as much advice if you come out this way, because most changes and setbacks aren’t problems for you.

If you come out as someone who looks for the positive, it means that when a conflict arises, you like to look for new opportunities. When things fall apart for you, rather than trying to put them together exactly as they were, you use the opportunity to create something new. If your plans get cancelled, take that opportunity to do something else you’ve been wanting to do. If your favorite school activity is cut, look into joining a different activity that you always thought would be fun to try. Since looking for the positive is important to you, you may enjoy keeping a journal of things you’re grateful for or things that make you happy so you can go back and reread them when you’re feeling bad.

If you come out as someone who likes emotional support, you like to talk about your feelings, get support from others, and do things that make you feel better. When something goes wrong, reach out to someone who will give you support, like a friend, family member, teacher, or school counselor. And if no one is available to talk, you can always set a time to talk with someone later, so you know you’ll have the support. You may also find it helpful to write about your feelings in a journal, and you may want to keep a list of things that make you feel better, such as activities, songs, or nice notes from people who care about you.

I wrote this quiz because I wanted to validate all the different ways of responding to conflict. I’m definitely someone who is a problem-solver and also needs a lot of emotional support, and I’ve experienced a lot of pressure to be more laid-back and to be someone who looks on the bright side, when those choices aren’t really me. I wanted to make sure that everyone knows that it’s okay to respond how you respond, and that all of your needs are valid.

I would recommend that you go through this quiz and rank your choices in order, so that you can see what your second or third type might be. A lot of conflicts are best handled with multiple approaches. For example, if it rains the day you were planning to go to the beach, you can solve that problem by setting a different beach day, while also using the opportunity to do something else that day. I come out pretty even between problem-solving and emotional support, and I really need both of those when I have a problem. The balance depends on what type of problem it is – if the problem is something that doesn’t really have a solution, like someone dying, then I need a lot more emotional support. If the problem is something that has a clear solution, then I need more of an even mix of support and problem-solving, because just emotional support alone could make me feel like I can’t change the situation. It’s good to notice how you answer each of the questions and which responses work best for you in different situations.

No matter how you come out, this quiz will validate how you respond to conflict and give you suggestions on how to meet your needs.

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